Does Texting Have A Future? Where Does That Leave ME?!?!?

Just call them, d*mn it!!!!!

Someone needs to make a distopic sci-future film built around the phenomenon of runaway texting, the thought of which will soon lead me to volunteer for Submarine duty in the Russian Navy.

The story would go something like this:
Avi Virgo (James Franco) is a registered 'Text Maniac' who is monitored by the evil 'Grandfathers Against Distracted Goings Everywhere Texting' (GADGET), a quasi-governement contract thought-police outfit what wants to abolish the new i-phone 87 (this is five years from now). Virgo tries to
gather all the Text Maniacs in Government Square to overthrow everything, but of course, being a product of the device, is incapable of setting a specific time or place to meet, figuring he'll just text everyone on the way 17 or 18 times and massage the deal until they bump into each other while texting. Tragically, his battery runs low after the 11th text and the Maniacs are helpless to assemble, leaving the governement and GADGET the simple task of rounding them up and taking their phones away.

Cut! Print it!

-Mandrake

Nah, it could never happen. They have to put down the i-phones to learn the instruments