People of Earth

Alien: 'You of Earth are unstable'          Earthers: 'I know you are but what am I?'

There's lots of talk on this planet lately of life-on other planets and habitable planets blah-blah-blah-lets-cut-to-the-chase: are aliens going to visit us or not? But have you considered this- if there were aliens, and they landed in Washington in a highly publicized event, what would be the worst-case scenario of what came out of the saucer door? Some suggestions:

1) Really Angry 15 foot tall Squids

2) Moderate-sized Blobs that ooze poo and pee

3) Space Indians here to trade us Techno-Beads for gold and furs

4) Michael Rennie, pictured above, but 30% more preachy than in the movie

5) Keanu Reeves under any circumstances

6) An alien that looked like Bert from Sesame Street, but had a potty-mouth and smoked cigars indoors

7) 150-foot tall humanoids like us in every other way. Then we'd have to build over-sized chairs for them and put on really expensive BBQs.

8) Crap-Midases. Like King Midas, but instead of gold everything they touch turns to crap

9) Soup Aliens that look and smell like tantalizing bowls of soup...mmmmm wait! We need them alive!


It could be worse, but I'm not sure how.

Mandrake