The Good Old Daze

I come from the Good Old Days™, a time when folks took things easy, except for Communism and maybe the Alien threat. Other than those two things we were swimming in butter, and sometimes in gravy, and when they came out with "Gravy Butter", well, let me tell you brother, we swam in it. There were also contests where dolls showed off their legs and guys would stare at them for hours. We called them "staring contests", and unlike these days, it didn't carry the death sentence, because we were all taking it easy.

It wasn't a crime back then

To be honest, it wasn't all Lollipops and Moon-Pies. In fact when I was little, gravity wasn't free. If you didn't put a nickel in the meter in front of your house, your dog would float all the way to Pluto (that's how Mickey's dog got his name). Since knives hadn't been invented yet, you had to cut loaves of bread and salami with skates (incidentally, Speed-Carving was a Winter Olympic event until 1968). There was no "baseball" or even "stickball" since wood was $1000/lbs. We had to play soccer in the middle of a lake because fields and shores were owned by wealthy fatcats who never shared. Brothers and sisters weren't invented until 1977, so we had to talk to life-like puppets when we needed the advice of older siblings.

Those were the good old days.

Mandrake