Mandrake's Mystical Mailbag

I don't USUALLY answer people's mail, although sometimes I answer mail addressed to me. So anyway, here goes:
 
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Dear Mandrake,

I ride the bus to work every day, and I don't think I can stand it anymore. People are just too damned ugly! Should I buy a car?

Sincerely,

Zira
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Hey Zira, walk the walk!

Sounds like the world's got you down, Zira. See, if you would consent to drive an earth-rescuing car instead of bus, your perspective would change entirely. When you drive,

-People become nothing more than insects/targets that you can avoid or destroy at your leisure. Hipsters, Hare Krishnas, Botanists, Nazis and Civil servants all sort of blend into a middle aged man of middle height wearing a gray coat.

-On a bus, your odds of sitting beside deposed Haitian Dictator Francois "Papa Doc" Duvalier are about 1 in 175,000,000, maybe even less, 'cause he's dead. BUT your chance of sitting beside Cher, a much more frightening prospect, are only 1 in 27,455,309. If you want to play the odds, be my guest, Mrs. Daredevil. As for me I'd rather not risk it.

-People become less revolting because you have no time to focus on their facial imperfections or greasy Mongol mustache/beards, or sweat that looks like some kind of bear grease. In fact, the refraction of your windshield has been scientifically proven to make people look 15% more palatable.

-As (effectively) your own rocket ship Captain, you come and go as you please; if you decide on a little side-trip to pick up a snow-cone or some ammunition, it's nobody's business but yours and possibly the police's.

-There's always a seat for you, unless you arrive at your car and find the Ghost Czar™ pretending he was allowed/capable of operating a car. This would be a rare occurrence, however.

Keep'em flying!

Mandrake