As Urgent as Finishing Your Drink on the Titanic

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Clearly the way to make a b'zillion dollars is to capitalize on people's
credulity about the environment and the impending demise of humanity and the
extinction of all life on the planet zzzzzzzzzzzz*snore*zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Huh? Where am I? Oh yeah.

Remember, the important part about being Green is to be *seen* to be Green,
not to actually do anything or hope to have any impact. That's not important.
You need to LOOK like you care. And feel guilty. Don't forget to feel guilty.

Here is an item from the new "Seen to Be Green" catalog I'm putting
together:

The Pork-Pie EnviroLid
Remember Pork-Pie Hats? No? Here's a picture you may recognize:

Gene Hackman before he became an actual hack

90% of the heat you produce escapes into the atmosphere
FROM THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD. What item has become
unfashionable in the past 50 years?  

HATS.

That's exactly when the earth's temperature started going up, isn't it?
Coincidence? I think not. The new Pork-Pie EnviroLid is more than just a
hat. It uses Space-Age Co-Polymers™ in its lining to trap CO2 from escaping
by transforming it into the form of sweat! The more you sweat, the more you know
you're saving the environment. Just compost the hat after six months.

SALES SLOGAN: Where's Your EnviroLid, Kid?


Mandrake