Fixing Hollywood, Part I

You know how they have these "behind the scenes" shows about how some actors are b*stards or slipped on a marble or something? Those are boring. They should have a new show called "True Hollywood Behind The Scenes" where they have dramatizations since they don't have the film.

He did it for the money

The first episode would be of the urbane Vincent Price as Egghead on Batman. You show a few clips of the show with him saying "Eggstravagant" or "Eggsistential" and prancing around with an armful of eggs. Then you have a dramatization of him going to his trailer and crying his eyes out from the embarrassment. Then he pulls himself together like the consummate professional he was and heads back on stage, where Batman and Robin throw eggs at him for two full minutes. Suddenly the phone rings and it's his agent telling him that his next role is as a vampire in a low-budget Hammer film called "The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires", or something. Cut to a drunken Price in a motel cabin, throwing a noose over a rafter.

OK, so it's full of half truths. So what? While we're at it, have a scene where he's hiding in some bushes with a pair of binoculars, ogling Yvonne Craig:

"Eggcellent"

Anyway, it might not totally fix Hollywood, but it's a start.

Mandrake