"BALTIMORE -- A team of scientists is looking into what could have caused bright lights in the sky that prompted hundreds of calls to the National Weather Service and emergency officials. Callers from Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina described brilliant, streaking lights followed by an explosion-like sound around 9:45 p.m. Sunday."
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| Yes, this is really how it works, even in 2010 |
Dare I ask, who ARE these people that call the authorities every time they see lights in the sky?!!??! What about just commenting to the neighbours as you take your worn baseball cap off and scratch your head? Then maybe go inside and finish your bowl of grits.
What exactly do you say to The MAN under these circumstances?
Caller: Is this the local weather authority?
Operator: Yeah, I guess.
Caller: I saw some lights in the sky!
Operator: (pause)
Caller: Hello?
Operator: What kind of lights?
Caller: Glowing lights.
Operator: Well, its probably nothing. Go finish your grits.
Of course, we may be playing right into the hands of those curious fiends from the Popeye Nebula. The MAN gets a bunch of "Boy Who Cried Wolf" calls and goes right to sleep at the switch. The second the switch is spotted as being unattended by the Peeping-Tom Alien™, he cancels his visit to the backwoods shed he was going to peek into and reports home. There, the bored and indolent bureaucrats at the bottom of the warm purple sea take off their Space Age Co-Polymer hats, and scratch their big, round heads, then talk about forming a committee to look into the whole Earth/Switch issue.
Months later the project is shelved. The PTA is reassigned to Backwoods Shed Patrol.
So I guess we're safe.
Mandrake
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